


Starless Melody

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alcohol can be a leading factor to someone’s downfall, leaving them in a river of despair, pools of heartbreak as they try to swim to their addiction that will end up kill them.Melancholy, the leading factor to the veins in your heart to slowly die of loneliness as it grasp onto your lungs for comfort.A struggling Alcoholics story lays in every drop of the bottle they hang onto to help solve their problems. What if one’s problems weren’t solved by drowning in bottles of a fluid that stung his taste buds but by the fingers that played the strings of the guitar?
Relationships: Hyungwonho, Joohyuk - Relationship, Kikyun - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Mercury

It was too late in the night for Hyungwon's demons to be hammering themselves against his skull. His veins protruded through the blanched skin of his forearm, burning at the sight of the moons glaze. It felt out of place, almost like an atheist trailing his fingers through the lines of motivation biblical scriptures. Feeling the sting anytime his fingertips hovered over a word that went again his belief. Every time Hyungwon inhaled, oxygen held onto the walls of his throat and caused his exhale to reek with melancholy and a hint of alcohol. The last drop of his happiness clung onto the corner of the immense bottle, almost as the air was holding against Hyungwon's reach. His tongue desired for it but his incisors were a wall stopping him from swirling his soul into the neck of the bottle. 

Every moment his watch touch a new digit, he felt his headache stab into his thoughts even deeper. His face finally decided to leave from his palms, with the ray of his desk lamp lighting up his bloodshot red eyes. Alcohol only fueled his acrimony for the night time, sitting in the dark with only one source of light, staring for hours upon hours at the same paperwork for the past two years. He could feel the words on the paper strangling him, stabbing his tongue with the same acrimony. It hurt but not enough to phase the young male, he used to it already, he used to everything being against him. His wordplay would never be enough to control the words that were choking him, with syllables getting stuck in his throat as it just slipped from his mental vocabulary. 

"Hyungwon, I hate to sound like a dumbass but I think you are becoming an alcoholic." His senior said in a narrow breath, reaching over and sliding the bottle away from his junior. Hyungwon didn't comprehend how long the other had been there, he had been so under the influence of his sorrow that his mind left him in a blank state. "You've been drinking it so much that I'm astonished that you haven't turned into Rum yourself." He tapped his pen against the surface of the desk, being the only noise that broke the silence between the two. Hyungwon looked up from his desk with an agitated glare, rolling his tongue against his rosy arid lips as the last remaining desire withered from the peeled flesh of his lips. 

" Minhyuk, I hate to sound like an asshole but will you shut the fuck up and stop talking to me?" The two haven't even said a word to each other for the past hours but as soon as Minhyuk opened his mouth, he just wanted to wrap his fingers around his voice box and rip with away from his throat. He didn't hate Minhyuk, he was just an annoying coworker that he had to put up with. For the past two years, they had been sitting across from each other, staring at each other through their strength and weakness. He was annoyed by him but he kinda also understood Hyungwon, like a pet with an owner,

"I'm only pointing out how you're not even two weeks shy of your twenty-first birthday and you're going through more bottle tonight than I have in my entire life." The statement came from a caring artery that ran through his heart, getting ready to rupture every time he saw Hyungwon in the state. The two never saw eye to eye even if their desk were leveled with each other, probably cause Hyungwon was an inch or two taller than him, and seeing his soul was impossible but Minhyuk still cared. They both had different lives and not once ounce of care dripped from Hyungwon's mind when it came to Minhyuk's life. Minhyuk was quite different though, being four years his senior and maybe it was just looking over his younger's immaturity. "I don't want to see your future getting ruined. I care about you and I don't want you to be an alcoholic for the rest of your life."

"And why do you think that should be any of your concern." Hyungwon felt his head trying to jerk itself back onto the desk but the strings of tension that hung from the ceiling that was the only thing that kept his head up. 

"Because I can see that something is wrong with you." Minhyuk gulped anxiously. "I don't have to go through your soul to see that you are struggling with something even if yours is probably broken." He sat back into his seat until he felt the cushion stab into his back, looking Hyungwon dead in the eyes as if he was trying to figure out what the other was thinking. "We all have demons you know? it wouldn't hurt to swallow your pride and admit them." 

Hyungwon didn't blink once, maybe it was because his drunken state caused his nerves to stay still. He looked towards a small picture frame that laid on the corner of his senior desk, it wasn't a typical drunken stare but one full of inappropriate inquisitiveness. "You have a son right?" Before Minhyuk could ever think of a response, Hyungwon slammed both of his forearms into the desk below and leaned forward so his drunken vision wouldn't get in the way of him staring in the others golden-maple moons. "For the sake of my sanity, maybe you should focus on your actual son because I'm not him. Maybe the demons you should admit is that you're so busy working all the fucking time that he probably doesn't even know your fucking name and calls the men that your whore of a girlfriend brings home dad. Now, stop fucking talking to me."

Hyungwon's statement wasn't true or he didn't think he was. The alcohol caused his words to slide of his touch like water on rocks, with his tastebuds not being able to hold them back. Minhyuk stared in silence, finally breaking his gaze away from the others. "He's my dead nephew...Hyungwon" As soon as it left his mouth, it just turned silent, so silent that it made some of his drunkness rub off his body. His mouth quivered conspicuously, wanting to apologize but the tension in the room just wrapped around his throat and left a tattoo of cowardness on his neck. His top lip just pierced into his bottom one, a tear streaming down his face and soon was absorbed by the same dry flesh that laid on his lips. It was silent, absolutely silent, so silent that Hyungwon could feel the blood running through the veins of his knuckles. 

"Maybe he shouldn't have died." That was the only words Hyungwon could muster up and he could feel the regret clinging onto his stomach. Minhyuk didn't ever look back at Hyungwon, he just sat there, staring into his universe with no emotions leaking from his pupils. He had to admit, he was pretty stubborn to let an apology gush through the skin of his lips. "Don't look away, own it, your nephew should be alive right now? shouldn't he be?" Now Hyungwon was letting nonsense escape his mind, which caused some tears to drop from Minhyuk's eyes. Hyungwon felt guilty but his drunkness caused all those emotions to dissolve in his stomach acid and perish. "Now you cant talk? answer me." His tone had gotten more exasperated but still, Minhyuk didn't say a word, not even a small mutter or sign left his lips. 

The moon's glaze was louder than the oxygen that sat in the room. The sound of the air condition shaking and ratting being the only thing that kept Hyungwon from falling into insanity. Minhyuk's glare made contact with everything in the room except Hyungwon's drunken graze again. "Do you just want a reaction out of me? Does getting a rise out of me feed your ego?" His eyes were still glued to the cracked open window, veins stabbing through the skin of his neck but surprisingly he had a blank expression on his face. 

"Why do you want to know, Minhyuk? Did I strike a nerve?" Hyungwon sitting back in his chair, throwing his arm over the back of it, licking the last remaining alcohol that lingered on his lips. Minhyuk let a small chuckle slip from the gaps of his teeth, his eyes finally falling off the edge of the window and looking back into the eyes of the drunken devil in disguise that sat inches away from him. He felt the silence in the air snap under the pressure. The state from Minhyuk was pretty intense so intense that it even scared some of the alcohol away from his system. "Don't you want to take all your anger out of me?" Hyungwon said, with a soft yet cocky smile being plastered on his face. 

"Do I look like your father to you?" Not even a few seconds past and the cocky smile that hung on Hyungwon's lips faded. The smile transfer from Hyungwon's lips to Minhyuk's. The male cocked his eyebrow at the now disgruntled Hyungwon. "Why did your smile fade? Did I strike a nerve?" Minhyuk said with confidence that seems to tap against the moon. Hyungwon didn't know how he managed to bite his tongue after that and not open his mouth but he had to admit, it was fair game. 

"You don't know anything about my father " The only reason he knew about his father was because of an employee retreat. He opened up to Minhyuk about it but not willingly. His drunken state always makes his words pour out like water but linger like liquor. It hurt that he used it against him but he deserved it, that's the only thing he could admit. 

"And you don't know anything about my nephew, seems like we're even."

Both of them just sat there, staring at each other as their pupils had a wrestling match. It was silent again but it was the loudest silence Hyungwon had ever heard. Every gush of wind that slid past his ear felt like it was grabbing onto his spinal cord and holding it in place. "Just stop talking to me..." He didn't know if the alcohol had finally gotten out of him and his soberness was now restricting his voice box from producing any kind of rebuttal. 

"I'm not talking to you Hyungwon, I'm talking to the demon inside of you." Minhyuk crossed his arms as the last hand on the clock hit the twelve, causing a small alarm to sound from his phone. The day was over, for at least Minhyuk it was. "Go home, take a hot shower to sober yourself up." He began to stack a bunch of papers from his desk and placing them into a briefcase. He then got up from his seat, reaching into his inner coat pocket, and turned off his alarm. He reached for something else too, his wallet, and began to dig inside of it. He threw a couple of dollars on the desk Hyungwon worked at. "Order yourself something to eat. Drink something that isn't alcohol." He reached over to grab a few pieces of paper that laid on the Hyungwon desk, meeting a small glare from him. "Get yourself some rest, ill finish your typing up paperwork and I'll call you an uber." Hyungwon only nodded his head as a sign of approval which caused a small grin to leave Minhyuk's lips. 

He watched as Minhyuk packed the rest of his stuff, not leaving just yet. He didn't know if Minhyuk was playing a virgin mary or if he genuinely cared about him. It was hard to tell, he was independent due to his past so seeing anyone trying to stuff anytime kind of sign of care down his throat was overwhelming. "Minhyuk?" He reached over to grab the bottle of alcohol that the other had snatch from his desk and finally his desire for the last drop that laid in the corner perished once he finally got a taste of it. He let the bottom hang in front of his face for a second. "You shouldn't throw many around like that, you don't know what I'm going to use it for."

"Hyungwon, You're careless but I don't think you're a stupid person. I trust that you'll use it to take care of yourself rather than waste your life away. Is it stupid to put that kind of trust in you? yes but I don't want to see you going down a path that I could've changed if I would've helped you." Minhyuk threw his bag over his shoulder, holding the briefcase case in his hand. He held it tightly in his palm as he walked over to the other. He reached over to dig into the inside coat of Hyungwon's pocket and shook it until he finally grabbed the other keys. Hyungwon just sat there mystified until his eyes got a glimpse of Minhyuk snatching his keys from his pocket. "Before you get any ideas." He let out before Hyungwon could even protest, stuffing the set of keys in his pocket. 

"Well look at you, the Korean Oprah. If it's stupid of you to put trust in me then why would you do it?" Hyungwon's fingers traveled up his chest, fixing the fabric of his turtle neck so he could breathe enough for the bitter carbon dioxide to escape through his lips. "Don't you get tired of acting like a saint, Minhyuk? You and I both know you don't give a damn about me, just a say to clear your conscience and try to prove to everyone how much of a good person you are, so you can brag and been seen as such a hero. You're just a fucking asshole Minhyuk but you are just too full of yourself to see it." He felt as if he let it all out with one breathe but even that didn't break the grin that stuck on Minhyuk's face. The same grin, the same glare with a slight uneven blink, and the same mature attitude. Hyungwon hated it, he hated it. 

"Do you think that's my goal in life?" Minhyuk let out a chuckle that was clearly out of Hyungwon's stupidity. "I know you play this act that you are just a helpless boy that thinks the whole world is against him but I promise you, I can see it right through it Hyungwon." He sighed softly as he began to walk towards the exit of the building. "I don't need to justify my actions so you can believe me because I'm probably the only person who would be sad if you were found dead in a ditch or care if you were dead at all." The words hurt but it slipped out his ear like wine would slip out a barrel. He raised his head and gave the other a blank stare, watching him placing his hand on the doorknob and began to open the door. 

"Do you think I care if anyone cares about me or not, Minhyuk?" He quickly let out, causing Minhyuk to pause from opening the door to look back at him. "I wasn't put on this earth for people to care for me. I'm not going to make society form me into a dick sucking bitch boy like you that always tries to impress people. At the end of the day, everyone uses each other to get somewhere that they want to be eventually. Do you think you're any different? Nobody cares about me Minhyuk, so don't pretend that you do."

"The only reason you think that is because you are used to people not wanting to hang around a struggling alcoholic who blames his life on everything and everyone but himself. That's why nobody doesn't care about you is because you don't care about yourself. Nobody wants to be around a person who is constantly blaming them for something you can change. You're struggling, I get it but you're making other people's lives struggle by not taking their help. You are so lucky that I have to patience to deal with someone so stubborn...."

"And why is that?" Hyungwon responded before the other male could even finish the last syllable to his sentence. He placed both his palms on the desk and pulled himself out of the seat, with one strain of his slicked-back hair falling into his face due to the pressure in the air. "Why is that? Lee Minhyuk?"

"Because I would be sad if you died, Hyungwon." That seems to be the tension breaker right there, with Hyungwon's eyes soon turning a strawberry brown as all the passion from Minhyuk's words mixed with his chocolate skies. "You think I hate you but I don't. If I pass by you in the street, you probably wouldn't give a glance at me while I'm already planning a whole conversation in my mind with you before I even past the block. Not everyone is against you Hyungwon, not everyone is going to leave you neither, no matter how alone you feel, you seem to always forget that the person who is doing his paperwork just a couple itches from you, cares about your well being. I've always had but it seems like you pay attention to alcohol and your reflection than someone who cares about you. It will finally be a relief one day when you see it before I eventually give up on you."

What Minhyuk didn't know what that Hyungwon always noticed the others care coming from a mile away, he was just too stubborn to accept. Unlike the ocean accepting the sun tattooing itself onto it and melt until every last itch of the sunset dissolves in the ocean. Hyungwon rejected the wave of carelessness, he didn't know if it was by instinct or it was just him being a dick. His body was sending him messages as his mind was struggling to decode them, he felt lost even if the answers to some of his problems could be staring right at him. He stood in silence as his eyes soon made their way from Minhyuk's, with the other just waiting for a second where he could walk out the door. When he felt like the tension died down, Minhyuk continued to open the door. 

"Wait Minhyuk-...." Once again he was stopped by Hyungwon from going. He let out an agitated huff before turning back to look at the male that stood on the other side of the room, cocking his eyebrow as a sign of curiosity. Hyungwon looked back at Minhyuk, all his drunkness seeming to have hung onto his eyelashes until finally they lost their grip and fell to their eventual death. He was more aware of his words now, accent sounded more stern, sentences less slurred and most importantly, he meant what we were saying. "Can you take me home?"

Minhyuk seems to be taken aback by the question, turning his head to the side as if he wanted it to exited his mind quicker. He let his wavy, jet black falling into his face almost as a way to get a distorted view of the other. "Despite treating me like shit for the past ten minutes, I'll be nice and take you home. I was planning to go out and eat something anyway, maybe I'll bring you along so I won't have to sit alone and waiting for Kihyun to call me."

"Wow, it feels nice that my company is that appreciated."

"It's not, I just don't want you drinking any more than you already have, and depending on how you are looking, your only diet is paperwork and alcohol. Alcohol is keeping you from living your life you know? It's like a jail, just one that makes you woozy and waking up in the bed asking what you did yesterday because you don't remember. Get your stuff, this place is even starting to smell like you." He watched as Hyungwon got himself together, stacking up everything from his desk and stuffing it into his backpack. Minhyuk was impatient but his sympathy for the other kept his lungs from stopping and letting out a well-needed sigh. 

"Not everyone has time to take care of themselves, alcohol is like a motivation to me. When I drink it, it's like the world isn't hurting me anymore or all the stress that linger has faded somewhere. Everyone has different motivations, don't judge me because mines come in a bottle." Hyungwon threw his bag over his shoulder, turning off the dull lamp that had been accompanying his all night. He pushed the one jet black strain back into his slicked-back mullet, stuffing his hands into his dark cherry colored suit pants. Minhyuk didn't seem to say a word after it, letting Hyungwon slip past him with no protest as he closes the door behind Hyungwon. "Finally, the world can see my beauty." Not even a second after Hyungwon said that, Minhyuk rolled his eyes. 

The hallway was empty, with the only noise being the breeze rub against the doorknobs of the doors that sat on the sides of the hallways. It was one window that was open, one that let in air of freedom that hasn't been used in hours. Hyungwon held his head up, letting the placid breeze flow through his nostrils. He began to walk down the hallway, shoes clicking against the smooth floor with Minhyuk right behind him. "You know, you would be way more attractive to me if you aren't an asshole." Minhyuk let out under his breath, causing Hyungwon to stop in his tracks. It came out of nowhere even with no context behind it, Hyungwon felt disgusted but his plump lips rubbing together stopped a frown from forming on his face. 

"Huh?" Hyungwon turned around to look at Minhyuk, cocking his eyebrow. "Don't act like one of those people with the gay shit, it looks really bad on you. I'll be disappointed if you turned out like one." Minhyuk didn't understand what he meant by 'those people', It didn't sound entirely respectful to say but Minhyuk felt powerless to say anything back. It just sounded weird as a whole. A confused expression was painted on his face, shooting a glare at Hyungwon as if his eyes were just full of utter annoyance or either hurt that he covered with a bit of dreadful curiosity. 

"I didn't mean it like that, Hyungwon. I was just saying you would probably be way more attractive if you weren't such an asshole inside." Minhyuk was indeed a homosexual but never came out the closest as the world was just another struggle for him. Almost like a hurricane in the waters of a serene ocean, the waves would start crashing as soon as the hurricane passed through and destroy everything once it reached the land. It felt like that, that it would start with the destruction of his friends than his family then his image that everyone saw, and then eventually, destroy himself. He couldn't risk it, his self-worth was way more important but knowing that he was living in a world full of gold and diamonds, he knew he couldn't survive with the copper he would have been left with. "You know I would never be like those people." 

"Then you should watch your wording next time, don't say 'to me', makes it sound like I was attracted to you in the first place. It's disgusting, be careful next time Minhyuk." Hyungwon placed a heinous grin on his face, reaching over and softly patting the other on the shoulder. Minhyuk wanted to reach up, grab the other by his turtle neck and just strangle him but he knew that wasn't his character. "It's good to hear that." It felt disgusting to hear that from someone he tried to care about but maybe he was still drunk, it was the only excuse that Minhyuk wanted to believe. Minhyuk was also a couple of years his senior, even if Hyungwon was an adult, he was wanted to believe that he was uneducated too. he didn't know. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking. 

"Okay? Can we stop talking about it now, it's pretty irrelevant." Or maybe because it made Minhyuk uncomfortable, his face turned into a bright rosy color which he could easily blame on the weather. It was a very bipolar fall, with one day being so cold that his fingertips were bloodless while one day it was so hot that his pores dried up in an instant. He felt his chest push up against his brown trenchcoat. "Can we just hurry up and get to my car so we can go to the bar? I'm tired of talking to you." Minhyuk brushed past Hyungwon, bumping his shoulder rather aggressively as he began to walk at a faster pace down the hallway. 

"I thought you said you didn't want me drinking?" Hyungwon shouted from behind him, as he started walking faster to catch up to Minhyuk. Which was rather easy since he was a bit taller than him. Minhyuk didn't even look behind him to acknowledge him, just struggling his shoulders as he kept his head face forward.

"Who said anything about drinking? They have really good food there and the music they place is calming after a night of working. Also, they have amazing non-alcoholic beverages there, even though you probably couldn't last without your bitchass begging for something to keep you sane." Minhyuk was finally near the exit of the building, reaching forward and pushing the door open for himself, leaving Hyungwon to hold the door open for himself. They didn't like going through the front and having to speak with the desk lady with the high-pitched voice. With Hyungwon being drunk, he was scared that he would mistake her for a whistle rather than a person. 

When the two were outside, Minhyuk dug into his pocket for his own set of keys, sticking it up in the air, and clicked the unlocked button until he heard the car unlock from about a couple of feet away. "Woah, I'm surprised you don't ride your bike here, you have a car." Minhyuk just rolled his eyes at the statement of the other, walking over to the car door and grabbing onto the handle. He knew that it probably wasn't going to be the last slick comment Hyungwon was going to make that night so it was no need to waste the words that laid on the tips of his tongue. He probably would be biting again it the whole night, better than trying to get the others to bite his. 

—

"Is this the place you run away to after work? Starless Melody? Even the name sounds like some gay bullshit you'll probably like to come to." The two haven't even touched the door handle yet before Hyungwon said something slick. Minhyuk called it but as he said, it wasn't worth him losing his cool over it. 

"I promise you will like it here, people have a lot of self-control here, a lot of them control their drinking but you wouldn't know anything about that." Minhyuk snickered in returned causing Hyungwon to quickly side-eye him before grabbing the handle to the building. Once he did, he was insanely met with a heavy breeze brushing against him, causing a few more strains of his slicked-back hair to fall in front of his face. His eyes were now wrapped around amazement as he kept on looking around the place that Minhyuk had so much love for. 

The place was beautiful, a huge chandelier dangling above a view of nicely placed tables, a few majestic mirror waterfalls that laid on the walls surrounding the main floor, dazzling and colorful stained glass that trailed through the middle of the wall of the second floor, lights leading up the stairwell to light up the path, fancy glasses and wine bottles being displayed behind the bartender of the very deluxe bar that sat in the corner and so many other details that was too much to focus on. How come he didn't discover this place earlier and how did Minhyuk even afford to even breathe the same oxygen that this place was filled with. 

"How the fuck do you even buy stuff from this place. " He looked towards the other male who was only a couple inches from him. Minhyuk smile seemed to be filled with some sort of pride, softly patting Hyungwon's shoulder and squeezed it. "Minhyuk, this place is fucking amazing oh my god." As Hyungwon continued to look around, he noticed a man beginning to walking in front of them. He looked polished, so polished that he questioned if this was even a bar. Unlike the popular strip club that laid on the corner of the block, everything looked so open instead of people bumping into each other every second. He never really been to anything like this before. He was more of a drink at home and drown in his depression rather than go out and let the world see his life blossom into a dark misery. 

"Ah, I see you have a guest today, Lee Minhyuk." Hyungwon was too focused on looking around to notice that the man approaching him had finally come into arm's length of him. His eyes traveled to the man's figure, eyes swirling in a field of jealousy one they did. The male was shorter than him but a very beautiful proportion, shape eye structure almost like a cat that was brought out by his brown glittery eyeshadow, dark purple eye contacts that the chandelier made them look like magically purple ponds that fairies would swim in, forest black hair, thick lips that were in a letter M shape and two eyebrows slits that brought out the rest of his look. He hated himself for finding the male attractive but he was a good-looking guy. "Has he been here before? You're usually here with Kihyun."

"He would be here with me by now but he has a shit ton of paperwork to do and probably has to deal with somethings regarding his child. Being a single dad is hard on him, you know?" Minhyuk took a step towards the male, reaching to grab the clipboard that the other had in his hands and soon took out a pin from his pocket, beginning to sign the paper. "I don't think he's heard of this place before. Hyungwon's pretty....you know....one of those people, Jooheon." He looked up from the paper for a slip second to let out a chuckle, with the male letting out one as well. Jooheon, that was his name and. a pretty nice one at that. "I'll tell Kihyun that you missed him tonight."

"Of course I do, he makes me smile a lot." Jooheon let out a small sigh, grabbing the clipboard back once Minhyuk was done with it then looked towards Hyungwon. "Pleasure to meet you Hyungwon, I'm Lee Jooheon. One of Minhyuk's close friends and happens to be a waiter here. If you need anything then feel free to call me over." Jooheon lifted his hand and offered it to Hyungwon, with him insanely taking his hand into his and giving it a few shakes before letting go. "Minhyuk usually has his spot that he likes to sit at so I think he can lead you there. Thank you for coming." Jooheon shot Hyungwon a smile before finally turning away and heading to one of those tables. Hyungwon felt bad for not saying anything but you were still drowning in disbelief on how Minhyuk never introduced him to a place like this even if the two had disagreements all the time. 

Minhyuk took a step forward and Hyungwon soon trailed after, heading to one of the tables that sat right in front of a stage. "Do they perform things here?" It was a stupid question that was meant by a mocking glance by Minhyuk, who just pulled out one of the fancy chairs and sat in it. He felt stupid for asking it, so soon shamefully swallowed it and decided to sit in his seat. "What do they perform here? Do you have strippers here?" Minhyuk wanted to eagerly shout out that he was gay just to show the male had asked yet another stupid question but outing himself was the last thing he wanted to do. He sat back in his chair, crossing one of his legs over the other as he let out a small sigh. 

"They perform music acts here, like singers, maybe a couple of dancers, some poetry, rappers, and stuff like that. It's a bar but also a scouting place for people who want to become something in the world." Hyungwon reached over to grab one of the pieces of bread that laid in the basket in the middle of the table as he listened to Minhyuk carefully. "I don't like strippers anyways, If I wanted to see a sexy half-naked person shaking their ass then I would just look into the mirror." He said it in a confident tone while Hyungwon almost choked on his piece of bread as he didn't even know Minhyuk had an ass in his opinion. Maybe he would have noticed but it was a very disgusting thing even if he had attempted to. 

"You're so fucking weird, I don't even know why I decided I come with you." Hyungwon was quick to finish the bread even if it was a bit dry, which started to make his tongue to desire more alcohol. "Maybe you should take me here when everyone starts performing. I've never been to a concert before or anything like that. I think that would be something I cross off my bucket list. I've always wanted my mom to take me to one but she was always busy, working to buy my things so I always got needs instead of wants, which I'm grateful." He said in a soft tone, which Minhyuk was surprised at he could see it had some sentimental meaning behind it. It was a short sentence but it showed a little of Hyungwon's soft side. He couldn't help but smile at him, eyes forming into soft crescent moons. 

"They perform every night, so if that's something that makes you happy then you can come any day as long as it's around this hour. I don't know when the next one is but you'll enjoy it. I think it will be a nice-...."

"Can you come with me if I do?" Hyungwon interrupted Minhyuk rather quickly, not giving eye contact when he did. "It's not like I want to hang out with you but I just don't want to go by myself....and maybe I'll have someone to have fun with for once." Hyungwon eyes began to look around, just look anywhere that wasn't Minhyuk's eyes. The other chuckled due to seeing another soft part of Hyungwon showing but it was also pretty sad once he thought about it. Maybe he was a jerk to Minhyuk because he didn't have a friend? Maybe Minhyuk could be that person for him? He didn't know, he never wanted to see Hyungwon hurt but he didn't want to see himself hurt either. 

"Ah don't get so sappy, Hyungwon. I'll be your friend even if that's not what you're saying." Hyungwon didn't agree with Minhyuk's sentence but he didn't disagree either. He hates to admit it but he did need a friend but never wanted to show his vulnerability ever again, to anyone. It was a long silence after that, it was awkward, so awkward that he felt the tension pulling at his hair follicles. "I'll get the drinks going before this gets any awkward for you, I'll get you something less strong so you don't overwhelm yourself." Minhyuk got up from his seat and made his way over to the bar, finally letting Hyungwon get the chance to breathe. 

He began to shimmy off his jacket just so the blood in his arteries can flow smoother, exposed a few of his tattooed arms before pulling his sleeves back down. His heart was beating so hard that not even his ribcage couldn't even hold it anymore. He swallowed down any anxiety that pierced his tongue but the taste of it still lingered somewhere. He looked around at all the people that were there, they were all happy and smiling. Something that Hyungwon could never find himself doing. He didn't know if it was jealousy or just the hatred of people being happy more than him. They didn't deserve it, the scent of people finding so much passion in the world disgusted him. He was great at putting a face in front of Minhyuk but inside, he just wanted to go home and cry rivers of enmity as he looked out the window, staring at the moon of sorrow. 

He looked back at the bar, Minhyuk was talking to a few people and looked like he was having the best time of his life. He has only been gone for a few minutes now but Hyungwon missed him. He would never yell his name out to get his attention again so he can come back to the table and talk to him again. He hated how the people at the bar were so easy to steal his attention while he was just left here, sitting with a shadow of regret. He didn't like thinking this way, it sounded like he loved Minhyuk or something, which was disgusting and something that he didn't want to show him at all. So he just sat there, waiting for him to come back or at least for something to happen. 

He began to look around but this time, turn around to look at the stage right behind him. He instantly froze as he saw someone sitting on a stool on the stage, guitar in his hand and all. The stage wasn't lit up or anything so despite the main floor being lit up almost like a Christmas tree, Hyungwon couldn't see the figure fully so he decided to turn back into his seat and just hope for Minhyuk to come back and almost like it was on command, he came rushing back to his seat with two bottles of wine in his hands. "Sorry, didn't mean to leave you all alone for so long." He pushed one of the bottles over to Hyungwon's side, with him being quick to snatch it, open it and pour it in one of the glasses that were already with the table. "I asked Jooheon if there was anyone performing tonight and he said in like two minutes so you don't have to wait much longer."

"I know, I turned my head and saw him. He also brought a guitar so all I can say is that I hope it goes well." Hyungwon chuckled, grabbing the neck of the glass and taking a quick swig of it. 

"Wait, he has a guitar with him." Minhyuk cocked an eyebrow at Hyungwon, looking at the stage and then back at Hyungwon who softly nodded his head. "Ah, it must be Wonho. If it is then you're probably going to love it. The kid can play a dozen songs with his eyes close, I would be proud if he goes big one day. I think he deserves it."

"Who's wonho?" He asked curiously, leaning up in his seat as he looks towards the male figure that sat in the darkness. 

"Just a guy who comes here to play once in a while, I would say he comes more in the winter. He's a pretty quiet guy, he doesn't talk about anything that doesn't have to do with guitars. Like I tried to ask him where was he from and he said a place where I started learning how to play the guitar' it didn't make sense but I didn't question him because he's big as fuck." 

"He sounds like a fucking loser in my opinion. He makes it sound like playing the guitar is a personality trait." It was another wave of jealousy that went through his body seeing Minhyuk praising someone else but then again, he didn't want to depend on someone else to praise him. Minhyuk rolled his eyes at the other's comment, pouring his glass of wine and held it up by its neck. 

"But you make being an alcoholic a personality trait, don't shit on him because he's doing something good in his life but you wouldn't know about it." He shrugged his shoulders, taking a sip of his wine. Hyungwon wanted to say something but by the time he separated his lips, the stage lights began to switch on while the other lights dim down. He took one last sip of his drink before he finally turned towards the stage once again. Even though the lights were on, Hyungwon couldn't see this 'Wonho' that Minhyuk was talking about. Maybe it was because he was still sitting in the shadow that the curtain made. He tried to move out of his seat to try to see him but soon sat back down as he saw Jooheon walk on the stage with a mic stand, placing it in the center as he was the one standing in the spotlight. 

"Hello, you beautiful butterflies, are you having a nice night?" The question wasn't even flowing in the air for a minute before everyone began to cheer out of nowhere. It scared Hyungwon, which Minhyuk saw and only responded by laughing at him before directing his attention back to the stage. "I'm happy you all are here tonight with some old faces and new ones. Now that the night starting to come to an end, we would like to end it off with one last performance like we always do." Hyungwon liked this atmosphere, it was so calm and even Jooheon voice sounded so welcoming that he just felt at home here. "Now, this is like his one-millionth time performing here but every time he does, he seems to blow you guys away which I'm proud of him for. So for the last performance of the night, I would like to introduce once again, my best friend and the moons favorite wonder, Wonho." 

The room was quick to drown itself in applause, with even Minhyuk slapping his hands together like he was trying to catch a mosquito. He probably was the only person in the room that didn't clap but it was nothing personal but he just didn't want to. The male finally decided to step from the shadow and reveal himself once Jooheon took a step back to embrace him in a hug. Hyungwon's eyes instantly shot open, just staring at him as Jooheon made his way off of the stage and it was just the male, standing in the spotlight like flowers would in the sunrise. He adjusted the strap of his guitar so that it was now behind his back, as he leaned forward and grabbed both hands with the microphone. "Did you miss me?" Wonho said softly with everyone quickly cheering once again and caused the male to smile. 

Hyungwon just couldn't take his eyes off of the male that was standing in his view. Just look at him, he looks like a human version of the moon. His smile was like two suns colliding, so bright that it made Hyungwon just sink into a pool of admiration. His face was carved by the angles that tiptoed onto the moon as they made their way back down to the clouds. His eyes were so doughy, with his black round full-framed glasses. Lips so red and plump that he didn't know if he was looking at strawberries or lips, soft triangle shape nostrils, and his physique...oh my god his physique. Hyungwon just wanted to trail his finger down the vein that stabbed through the skin of the other muscles. He didn't know if it was normal to feel this way but he felt like he just saw the perfect human. His heart began fluttering out his chest, cheeks swelling up so much that it looks like a flower blossoming and he could feel his tattoo trying to burst out his sleeve to take a peek at the dashing male too. 

"I'm happy that you did." Wonho giggled a bit in the microphone that almost causes Hyungwon to fall out of his seat. It sounded like music angels would play and the way his eyes would form into crescent moons when he did giggle. He didn't know if he was crushing already, if he did then he would hate himself for that but he couldn't help it. "I usually write my songs but today is an exception as this is one of my favorite songs, Moonlight by Ariana Grande but I brought my guitar with me so it'll be acoustic. I hope you don't mind." Wonho smiled once again but this time his eyes traveled across the room until they finally ended up at Hyungwon, which caused Wonho to smile even more. "Hope you enjoy, kitten."


	2. Saturn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wind that flows through your veins will soon turn into a cloud of desperation, as you struggling to breathe your last breathes. 
> 
> Your eyes catches a star that it will soon began to fall for, drifting into a universe of devotion, disappearing once your fingers began to grasp it. 
> 
> The temptation that sits on the tip of your tongue begins to fade once the motivation is gone. You chase that star again that once caught your eye, you could be crash landing on a planet of self-despair.

Admiration, something that was never really felt in the mind of the adolescent male. The illusion of living into your fantasia envision, making it your lamentable actuality. You believe it so much so it doesn't just define you, it refines every person who voyages across your ocean of endless illusion. Hyungwon has been like that for minutes now especially after the whole "kitten" thing, the effulgent gold flakes that rested his eyes blistering every second he stared at the male that performed right in front of him. The male's voice was so beautiful that Hyungwon's ears just wanted to curl up and cry from the sweet melody.

His eyes were covered in affliction, as he was struggling with the contention as he felt weird for staring this long but he honestly couldn't help it. He didn't know if he was just smitten with the music or the man behind it. The song was only a couple of minutes but it felt like it had been playing on for hours. How every beautifully sung syllable jumped off the tip of his tongue or how his stardust covered fingers were able to play the strings so delicately. His eyes could just drool into the other music. Ahh, the time Wonho was finished, he didn't even notice until everyone started to clap once again. He looked over at Minhyuk, who seemed to be as smitten with wonho as he was the looked back at Wonho. His smile resembled his personality, a sunshine smile and eyes so bright that he didn't know if he was staring at the solar system or if they were truly how sparkly his eyes were. 

"Didn't I tell you he was good?" He heard Minhyuk say from the corner of his ear. He jumped slightly, softly clearing his throat and shaking his head as he tried to let every thought of Wonho slip of out it. Hyungwon to look back at him with an unimpressed smirk that was painted on his face.

"Not really." He struggled his shoulders, grabbing his wine glass and taking one last sip before the crowd started to die down. "He's pretty mediocre, sounds like a pop rip off version of Billy Ray Cyrus. Sucks ass if you ask me." He wanted to hit himself over the head because of all the bullshit was saying, he would. He didn't know if he just didn't want his pride to drop in a pond of jealousy or either he hated how Wonho was being seen as such a god by everyone. Even if he was smitten with the boy, he didn't like how everyone else was. It was weird? So weird that all the exhilaration that stuck on the top of his fingers soon dripped down the neck of the glass and onto the floor of oblivion. 

He just wanted to chug down another bottle of rum and twirl into a portal of starlight that he would soon drown in. He looked over towards Minhyuk again, who seems to be still staring at Wonho. "Can you stop looking at him? You are probably going to creep him out." Minhyuk looked over to Hyungwon with a death glare, the smile soon disappearing from his face. He was so close to saying something, so close that the syllables were climbing up his throat but soon was interrupted by the microphone's feedback which caused both of them to look back up to the stage. 

"Thank you, everyone, It's a pleasure of seeing you guys again." Jooheon looked like he was smitten with Wonho as well, smiling so hard that it just looked like it was stuck. Wonho wasn't helping either, as he was smiling just as a hardback at Jooheon. Almost like their pupils were drooling into each other's, it was weird but understandable. They stood there, smiling at each other for a couple more seconds before Wonho began to walk towards the exit of the stage. Hyungwons eyes followed, breaking his eye contact from Wonhos body the moment he stepped off the stage. 

Hyungwon was finally able to take a breath as his lust had it by the throat and didn't let go until the male walked off the stage. He felt his veins tremble, he didn't know if he was nervous or his wonderment for the star that shot across his sky was too much to handle. He ran his tongue across his lips, painting them with moisture as he felt like he had his mouth open for too long. 

"Aye umm...Where's the bathroom Minhyuk?" Hyungwon leaned over the table to whisper to Minhyuk. He was pretty clueless and wasn't necessarily paying attention as he continued to stare at the male who was still on stage. He pointed towards the back of the building, without breaking a single second of eye contact. "Thank you, I'll be back soon." He pushed himself out of his seat and began to adjust his turtleneck again. Maybe he was a little too eager to go to the "bathroom" as he could practically feel both of his feet walking like asteroids through outer space. He pushed past all the people who were still out of their seats even if the performance had been over for about six minutes now. 

By the time he finally got through the crowd, he was out of breath. His diaphragm grabbed any ounce of oxygen he could as he adjusted his turtle neck once again so the windpipe could grasp any air it could. He looked around to see any way to get through the back that Minhyuk had pointed to. He ducked his head down so nobody would be able to see his face, which didn't make any sense since the male was six-foot and was Saturn in a universe full of mercury. He felt stupid doing it so he was quick to shoot his head back up and began to pick up the pace trying to each other back where Wonho had gone to. He wouldn't be surprised if it was a restricted area where the artist was staying. Nobody wants an Abraham Lincoln happening anytime soon. 

It wasn't like he was a threat anyway, he was just a depressed son of a bitch that happened to be addicted to alcohol. After trying to stuff happiness down his throat to try to force it in him, why would it be a smart idea to wash it down with alcohol? He soon regretted even coming back here. It was a dark hallway, only being lit up by a few led lights that covered the corners of the ceiling. Every step he took down the hallway, he felt his gut drop even lower. Maybe it was the alcohol and wine mixing in his stomach and causes his anxiety to reach his intestines and pull on them so hard that it made Hyungwon ache in fear. It felt like the whole world was being pressed against his shoulders.

By the time Hyungwon had reached the end of the hallway, he touched against the closest wall he could sense and realize it was a dead end. It felt like a sense of false hope but he was also relieved as his mind knew it was pretty weird to try to talk to a stranger that he had painted into his eyes. He let out a sigh of self-made frustration, turning back around, and began to make his way back down the hallway. Maybe his anxiety did have to make him use the bathroom or maybe it was because his heart bounced off his stomach and finally was able to penetrate his bladder. He walked back down the hallway with his hands stuffed into his pockets, trying to prevent his fingers from cringing from an urge to leave. 

He kept his head down even if nobody was watching him, as he felt the invisible angel that latched onto the air were secretly judging him. It wouldn't be like he would mind anyway, if angels judged you then you know you were a person they envied. If you had angels envying you then that was a good thing in Hyungwon eyes. His mind was filled with such disparity but he had a creative way of thinking about his problems. Before he could exit the hallway and walk back to his table. He lifted his head with his eyes being quick to latch onto a guitar that was hovering into the cloud. His eyes soon guided away from the guitar and to the person who had it strapped to their backs. It looks like a familiar frame, familiar hair color, familiar outfit causing Hyungwons eyes to shoot open and his hands jolted from his pockets. "Wonho!" 

He launched forward, finally exiting the hallway, and entered back into the cafe and was met by the blinding lights pounding against his skin. "Wonho!" He began to brush past people, slipping through any crack he could as Wonho began to proceed forward. Wonho was a lot thicker and muscular than Hyungwon, which he was surprised as he was able to slip through the crowd almost easily while the six-foot-tall giant of a man Hyungwon was, was like a lion going through a crowd of lions. Everyone parted slightly so that Wonho got through, screaming his name just as Hyungwon was but the second Wonho stepped off a naked part of the path, it filled only seconds after. While nobody was following Wonho like he was, it still didn't make it easier to get through. "Wonho!" 

Hyungwon was so close to the exit of the door after fifteen minutes that he could just lean over and touch it. Wonho had already walked out of the cafe, with the crowd dying down as its main source of energy was gone from their hearts. Hyungwon brushed past the last person before he was able to grip onto the door and pull it open. He pulled himself over, finally able to take a deep breath as his anxiety had risen to a point where they were stabbing his lungs with too much pressure. He leaned over and rested his hands on his knees, holding his head down as his locks fell in front of his face. He was about to forget the reason why he had came out here until he heard a few guys talking as they made their way down the sidewalk. 

Hyungwon head shot up once again, standing up completely straight and he fixed his turtleneck once again. The night had gotten darker, with the dull street lights being the only thing that stops blindness from overpowering his vision. He combed his hair back, as all the gel from it had begun to float into oblivion. He took one last breath before beginning to run again, down the sidewalk that seems to be empty but it wasn't and soon was able to see the male once again but with two other males next to me. "Wonho!" He shouted for the final time. 

"Wonho!" He was finally able to catch up to him, almost out of breath as he left out a sigh of relief once he finally made it up to him. The other turned around with a look of confusion on his face. Wonho was so much beautiful now that Hyungwon saw him up close. His eyes were more sparkly, like a pool of stardust was stuck in them. Hyungwon didn't know if he was staring at something beautiful or was looking at the definition of beauty himself. His lips slowly dropped open, a small smile forming as he continued to stare at the male a few inches away from him. "I-....Uh-....." Wonho along with the two other males stared at Hyungwon, with the two males starting to become annoyed with Hyungwon's constant staring. "ahhhh i....."

"Do you want to kiss me? I'm sure it would make the memory of me last longer." Wonho teased, with the two males beside him soon chuckling to his flirty antics...well at least Hyungwon saw it that way. He was quick to snap out of his state, finally being able to see what was flowing in the other pupils. Still, Hyungwon didn't say a word but just stood there, silenced by the tension that brushed again the sidewalk. "What's wrong, baby? Are you nervous?" Baby? The name made Hyungwon heart flutter slightly, causing his chin to fall onto his chest but soon felt the tip of Wonhos finger push it back up, now being able to feel the other's hot breath slipping through the cracks of his lips. "Are you going to say something? If not, don't waste my time princess."

"Wonho don't tease him, if he can't handle even talking to you then I wonder how he's feeling right now." Dying, Hyungwon was dying inside. It wasn't his character to stood his words off and stab them into oblivion but genuinely, he didn't know what he could or would even say. Not being that, it embarrassed him that there were oblivious two other males were pulling him into a black hole of their judgmental mindset. He didn't know if he was red from the cold wind or if Wonho's fingers had transferred so much embarrassment to his face that it reflected the color his beard was but that could be misinterpreted as he felt his heart was stone cold, just like the surface of Neptune. "Save him some embarrassment."

"Why, Shownu?" Wonho turned his head to look back at the male, putting a smile on his face that causes Hyungwon to squeeze his eyes shut as he didn't want to see it anymore. "I'm just messing with the kid until he tells me what he wants. I mean come on, the princess was bold enough to follow me out the cafe, follow me and call my name out, right? " Wonho's tones sounded like it was supposed to degrade Hyungwon which was hot but that wasn't the type of thoughts Hyungwon should have been thinking about while all of this was happening. He wanted to scream that he wasn't out of the cafe but figuring how the two made eye contact right before he had performed, he knew it would more words that would be burned into ashes and threw into an ocean of stupidity. 

"Maybe he wants an autograph, I mean look at him, You have fanboys too Wonho." The other male beside Shownu said, winking with one corner of his mouth pulling back and his mouth made a click sound. 

"Yeah Changkyun, he probably wants Wonho's lips to autograph his. By the way, he was staring at him on stage, it looked like he wanted to get married to him." Shownu and Changkyun were quick to chuckle at it. He didn't think his staring was that noticeable, I mean everyone in the cafe was staring at him since he was performing. It was almost as if his eyes told a story but ones that were published to the public and were critiqued by amateur writers, it was like poetry with his staring, it could be a random thing with a felt meaning behind it and his staring could have been seen as random but he was admiring the male even if he did want his ego to rip out the pages and just forget it all happened. The comment with homosexual intent behind it caused Hyungwon to gulp his fear, his eyes tapping against the corners as he just wished Minhyuk was there just to pull him away and back into the cafe. "But let's not tease him too much. Who knows, he could be a stalker."

Wonho just stood there for a few more seconds, staring at Hyungwon with the same smile on his face. He would say it was uncomfortable but he admired it so much that he just wanted to run his fingers against the outline of his smile. He was confident enough to think about that but not think about anything to say to Wonho. "I'm not one..." Hyungwon said in a whisper, causing all of the males to look at him in a confused manner. He was proud that he at least got something out, something to cut the silence in half and have the words slip through. 

"It talks," Changkyun said as a smart remark which leads to every single one of them laughing. Hyungwon soon regretted those words from leaving his mouth, he bit at the peeling skin of his lips even if it tasted dry and bland. He used to be an asshole to other people but when he got it back, it just hurt for some weird reason. He just wanted a star to crash down from the sky to start a distraction so that he could run away or some sort of fairy dust could help him grant a wish to replay this whole scenario from happening again. He felt like peter without tinker bell, how could he fly through the sky without something to guide him. It made him cringe, so much that his lips formed into an angry pout but looked quite childish. 

"No need for the expression sweetheart, we are just joking." Wonho's tone now sounded calming, it sounded like a bipolar music playlist as he was now getting confused on what Wonho's true intent was but he honestly didn't want to find out anymore. "Anyways I have to go now, you should come back to the cafe soon. Maybe then you'll find the confidence to actually say something to me. Until that day comes, goodnight honey." He teased once again, blowing a quick kiss at Hyungwon, and finally let his fingertips slip from under his chin. He felt his head almost wanted to drop again, with the embarrassment being so heavy that it left him unbalanced. He watched as Wonho shot a wink towards him as he began to back away before turning around completely and began to walk back down the sidewalk. 

"See you later princess." Shownu later added with Changkyun shooting a grin at Hyungwon. Both of them stayed for a short second to stare at him before finally turning around and following the male. He noticed how both Changkyun had drum sticks in his back pocket while Shownu had a bow in his hand. By that Hyungwon could tell that every time Wonho performed somewhere, the two would be there most definitely. It made him what to grab his locks and pull them out of his head. He could just never come back to the cafe ever again but Wonho had left him..flustered? The male peeled and exposed some sort of curiosity in his mind that made him want to see him again. The encounter was short but one that Hyungwon would probably not forget for a while.

He just continued standing there, his feet glued to the concrete as he stared at the group of males who soon disappeared in the darkness. He clenched his fist, his face soon revert to its original pigment as he just felt as cold as he was minutes prior. "Princess...." He muttered, with his words grinding on the edge of his teeth. "I'll show the bitch what a fucking princess is."

—

"So you are telling me, you stood there and didn't say anything?" Minhyuk stared at the male who was yet in another wave of forced drunkenness that he been trying to avoid. It didn't help that he felt the alcohol from the night before linger into his teeth and mixed with the one he was drinking now. Minhyuk looked disappointed but he knew how Hyungwon dealed with his emotions even if it wasn't healthy for him. "Why didn't you scream bloody murder or even called for me?"

"I couldn't even think about screaming, it was so embarrassing that I don't even want to replay it in my head." Hyungwons watery cherry colored eyes were now leaking, while his palm clenched tighter onto the neck of the whiskey bottle. "I usually don't get intimidated but I don't know why I was."

"Now you know how it feels when you're an asshole towards me." Minhyuk wanted to yell that at Hyungwon so loud that it felt like he was slapping him with his sentence but he knew it wasn't right in this situation. All he did was just reach over and grabbed the bottom of the bottle, yanking it out of Hyungwon hands. He was honestly too out of it to show some resistance so he just looked up at Minhyuk with a glare but soon closed his eyes as they began to burn. "I understand that but you are a dumbass if you're drinking just because of that. To be honest, I don't know why Wonho acted that way. He's usually a really nice guy."

"That's what everyone says but I can tell the motherfucker wears some sort of facade so that he doesn't expose that he's a real asshole just putting it on to get him somewhere in life"

"Isn't that what you are doing Hyungwon?" Minhyuk was quick to respond, getting up from the corner of the bed and placed the glass onto the dresser. Hyungwon looked at him in a confused manner, sitting up so his spine was melting against his headrest. "You put on such a facade that you're such a tough guy and that you don't care about anyone so you can stop yourself from getting hurt in the future. It's not getting you somewhere in life career-wise but mentally, you are trying to get somewhere where you don't hurt anymore." His uneven blink became more aggressive as he looked out the window into the sunrise outside. 

Hyungwon didn't want to admit it at all but Minhyuk was right. He didn't know if the alcohol had lingered onto his thoughts, cause them to not go through completely. He let out a huff of embarrassment that still sat on his shoulder from last night. "It still doesn't give him the right to be a fucking asshole, even after I supported him while he was performing." Hyungwon crossed his arms while Minhyuk looks from the window and back at the other, rolling his eyes as Hyungwon was simply being over dramatic as Minhyuk just thought the whole situation was funny, especially since the male had deserved it. 

"It doesn't mean he owes you kindness, Hyungwon. You can support someone for a day or even years and then still have the right to treat you like shit. It's not your choice to pick how other people treat you, it's just how you handle it." Minhyuk shrugged as he sat back into the edge of the bed, picking up the bag of food from the floor and placing it onto the bed as well. He had gotten it after Hyungwon walked home even if Minhyuk wasn't alerted that he did. It didn't help that the two both neglected Hyungwon's car back at the building. He was scared when he did it but knowing Hyungwon, you just have to be on your toes. "You didn't have to walk home because of that, I've gotten worried about you when Jooheon told me you left. A simple goodbye would have been great."

"I don't think I owe you a goodbye, stop acting like you care so much Minhyuk." Hyungwon had gotten the energy to yank the covers off of his legs, causing the cold air to bang against them almost instantly. "You should have come looking for me the second Jooheon said I left if you were that worried."

"i would've but I had your paperwork to do. I'm here now, I could have taken care of Kihyun's kid like he asked me too but I came to visit you, gotten you food and everything but looks like I'm still under-appreciated." Most of the sentence came out as a mumble, with Hyungwon hearing only the firsts half of it. "But now that I came to check up on you, I should be leaving. Do you have any plans for today? Since I called in and told them you needed a day off to clear your head."

"Why? It's not like I would be spending my afternoon with you." Hyungwon carefully gotten himself out of the bed without knocking over the bag of items that Minhyuk had bought for him. He placed both feet on the floor, reaching over, grabbing the hand of the bag and lifting it off his bed. "Thanks for the food though, you should get yourself something to eat. I think I let my wallet downstairs, grab a twenty from it and buy yourself a burger, you can't do paperwork on an empty stomach." Hyungwon didn't try to sound nice but he genuinely didn't want Minhyuk to be stressed as the two worked at the same desk and with him being out, that would be more paperwork on the other. 

Minhyuk was in shock as the other sounded even a slight bit caring, it was like seeing a lion grooming a gazelle in the wild instead of killing it right away. He just nodded, sitting up from the bed and stood towards the direction Hyungwon was in. "Take care of yourself pal, ill call you later even if you probably won't even answer."

"Please don't, I rather not talk to you later" He rolled his eyes with Minhyuk painting a sad expression on his face as he began to walk towards the door of the males room. "But call me if you do get overwhelmed with the work, ill sober up and be there." Hyungwon sat out before Minhyuk could even twist the doorknob, Hyungwon didn't see it but it made a soft smile appear on Minhyuks face. Almost a smile of contentment or maybe he was finally seeing Hyungwon change for once. 

"I'll see you soon, Hyungwon."


	3. Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As rivers of tears soon becoming oceans, swimming out of them eventually becomes tiring. Vulnerability can leave your lungs filled with fluid that is laced with enmity that can linger for years. 
> 
> A fire of guilt for the surviving the ocean of your own self-hatred burns so much that your lungs soon turn into ashes. The stars look down on you looking for a possible answer as of why you haven’t reached the heavens yet while you are soon glued to the stairs of your own decisions. 
> 
> Desire of staying true to yourself soon slips off the water on rocks, falling into a pond of mystery. It feels like forever since you touched the surface and stared into your false reflection. Your tears fall into the same pond as your reflection laughs at your pathetic actions. Is it worth losing your tears for a reflection that you can change?

Wonho, the only thing that came to his mind as he walked down the sidewalk, hands buried into his pockets as he trailed off the path of his misery. It was like taking off a bandage after thinking the wound healed, it healed enough so no deadly bacteria could enter it but the scab will continue to stay there. Hyungwon had never seen the male in his life until their encounter hours before and he had already seemed to be fascinated with him. 

It was like every time he stared at him, it was like a dream being written on pages with fairy dust as the lines. The way the other black strains fell in front of his face, half heart-shaped nostrils that made Hyungwons heartbeat want to travel to it, his whole demeanor was interesting to try to discover. Wonho was a closed book with a lock on it but in a library that Hyungwon could never step foot in to find. The uncomfortable and cringe-worthy encounter did leave a foul taste that lingered on the top of his tongue. The curiosity after it was like watching a nature documentary, it was cruel to think about but your eyes can't take itself from it. 

Hyungwon had no destination as his liquor-filled footsteps left him stumbling out of his apartment, making the air travel through his lungs at an extremely slow rate. As many bottles of forgiveness he drunk, he still couldn't get his thoughts to stop grabbing onto the male that called him princess just hours before. The word made his brain ache in pain or maybe it was the alcohol finally trying to kick his thoughts out and burn them into the toxic air. He wanted to call Minhyuk and ask him to pick him up to take him back home but seeing the other look at him suffering was almost unbearable. 

He usually didn't let people get to him this way but Wonho just seemed different? How could someone so talented have an ego that could climb the empire state building? How could such a handsome face spit out words that stabbed and cut the veins in his heart more than the alcohol did? He didn't want to think about it anymore but knowing that was probably the only human interaction he had with someone besides Minhyuk, he knew his mind would let it go that easily. It causes his appetite to grow stronger since alcohol just didn't fill his stomach but mixed with the acid and caused it to burn even more. 

He carefully brushed past any person that walked down the sidewalk, being met by a few stares as his eyes were blood pools. It felt like his legs were in quicksand but instead of suffocating in the sand, his knees would be scratched up by the concrete that laid below. It was like his eyes were going to fall out of his head any second, his vision being clear as red wine in a glass. He eventually made it to a little stand that sold hotdogs that laid on the concrete curb of the road. It looks cheap, so cheap that he could buy everything in the cart just by giving the shirt off his back to the stand owner. He felt his stomach rumble so much that he thought all his organs were about to start a boxing match due to how loud it was. He eventually stumbled to it, being that it was no other people waiting for anything so it wasn't too difficult to help himself to be in the front of the line. 

"Excuse me, may I have a hotdog?" He thought he sounded perfect in his head but in reality, it was a drunken stutter. He couldn't notice it until the man behind the stand leaned forward as if he wanted Hyungwon to snatch his ear off and yell into it even more. "Can I have a hotdog? Can you not hear me?" Another drunken stutter with it being met by a sharp glare coming from the man in front of him. "Are you fucking stupid or just an asshole trying to piss me off!" He said it a bit louder as it began to echo through his mouth and into the tons of people that walked past him. Even if his tone had gotten louder, the drunken stutter was still there as if it was tattooed to his tongue. "I'll slap your fucking mother if you continue to look at me like you can't hear a word I'm saying."

Maybe he was all saying it in his head, another episode where alcohol leads him to become paranoid than he already was. The male kept staring at him as if he had hatred written on his pupils. He questioned if the other male could read his true self by looking at the words that dropped off his slightly oversized hoodie. He didn't know if the man was purposely ignoring him because of his state or it was simply an illusion and Hyungwon was talking into a stream of oblivion. 

He didn't know why he was angry at the male, he didn't know if he was staring at his demon or just a man trying to run a cart for his reasons. Hyungwon just wanted to lay in a coffin of his distorted thoughts as it was better than letting his pent-up anger out on people who didn't give want to glance at him on a normal day. The angry and annoyance wasn't meant to be towards him but it was tattooed to his demeanor, making it hard to kick off his tone. "Can you....." He finally was able to hear the drunken stutter, his eyes switching back into a softer environment with small trees of calmness beginning to sway back and forth. His lips twitching in awkwardness once he realized what was happening. "I apologize, sir...I don't know what has gotten...."

"I would like two hot dogs please." Hyungwon heard a hand soon slap against the top of the chart, being met with a familiar voice. He was too nervous to turn his head, wanting to tuck his head in the hole of his hoodie and never come back again. It felt like he was in the middle of an ocean but one he couldn't be rescued from it like he was sitting on a raft of unwanted nostalgia as he felt this feeling before. "Is there anything special you want on it, princess?" As soon as the word princess slipped into his ears, his stomach dropped in disbelief with his head finally shooting back up and looked towards the voice that rung through his head as he stood there. 

"Wonho?" He softly mumbled, with it being so soft that not even his lips felt the words leaving it. It felt like a k-drama like a camera was just staring at him waiting for his reaction to the main protagonist that just hopped next to him. He genuinely didn't know how he found him or know it was him as he was wearing more casual clothes than the night before. He just wanted to throw his arm over his shoulder and punch the Wonho in the face, bruising those pretty lips so much that it made a stutter that Hyungwon now had. He wanted to grip his hands around his throat and suffocate his vocal cords so much that all the words in the vocabulary soon slip from his bruised lips. He just wanted to get the thought of the other out of his head but it made it harder as he landed on the rings of Saturn and clung on so Hyungwon had him in his sight. He just felt like he was being tested, it a way to show how gullible he was to Wonho even if Wonho didn't know Hyungwons name. "Just mustard please...."

"Ah, the night has gone away and the princess still hasn't found his voice, such a fucking child," Wonho said with a short chuckle following, moving his arm in front of Hyungwon and pushing him back pretty harshly. Even if his body was layered with cloth, he felt every single inch of the other's muscle push against his stomach. It felt...nice, maybe because he didn't use to anyone touching him even if it was in a platonic way. "Just put everything on it, light onion but no relish." Hyungwon could hear every time Wonho smacked his gum, with the gaps of the corner of his lips producing letting the sound slipping into the air. Hyungwon couldn't help but observe Wonho's feature one last time even if his brain tried to pull nerves in his eyes to look away from him but he just couldn't help it. 

It wasn't as cold as it was the day prior so wearing a jacket wasn't necessary so Wonho didn't. His shoulder blades poked through his shirt so much that it felt like it was going to be ripped in half. His thighs were thicker than both of Hyungwons arms combine, it was like comparing mars to venus but it was a planet full of very well defined muscles. His long sleeve shirt gripping around his biceps. He felt like it was much safer to stare at the other as he was now behind him. Watching as his hair blow through the wind as it looks like he was staring in oblivion. Hyungwon hasn't seen beauty like this in a while even if his ego was attached to a mirror that showed a reflection of himself that made him look stunning but now, he felt like just a regular star on the planet compared to Wonho. 

"The cart is over here." Hyungwon didn't notice the other had turned around causing his eyes to shoot open as he didn't expect it. "Keep your eyes to your fucking self, do you want to touch me or something?" He teases, cocking his eyebrow at Hyungwon, letting his tongue push to the other side of his mouth. It was yet another question that left Hyungwon speechless, being left with the wind keeping the thoughts in his head. Before he could think of any response, both of the hotdogs were placed on the cart with Wonho being quick to take them. "Thank you, have a good evening sir." Even if Wonho's smile wasn't directed at him, he still was able to see it once again and yet his cheeks turned into cherry ponds once again. 

"Thank you, Wonho" Hyungwon was finally about to respond with something, feeling Wonho stuff the hot dog in his hand. He watched as Wonho pulled his wallet from his pocket, taking a few wons out and placing them on the counter. His smile never faded during those seconds, making Hyungwon's heartbeat even faster than it should of. Wonho stuffed his wallet back into his pocket and began to walk away from the cart. Hyungwon didn't know if he should follow or not but he knew he had to at least say thank you, so he did. "Thank you, I appreciate it...I've never had anyone be this nice to me before-" Before he could finish his sentence, Wonho had turned to Hyungwon with an annoyed expression on his face. 

"I wasn't doing it to be nice, I was doing it because it was fucking embarrassing watching you go off on someone just trying to do their job." And just like that, Wonho's smile faded and his aggressive tone was back again. It made Hyungwons nose twitch in distress, watching the light in the eyes of the other soon switch off. "Saying thank you to me was probably the first sober sense you've said all day." Hyungwons breath was drowned in alcohol, making the smell on his tongue rather stronger even if Hyungwons nose wasn't able to pick it up. He lifted his hand to cover his mouth, blowing into it, and took one quick sniff. He could practically feel all his nostril hair being burnt by the tenacious scent but soon started to fall into a sober state once his dream was finally standing in front of him. 

"How did you know it was me though? It could have been a random person, you didn't have to do it." Hyungwon shrugged his shoulders, walking a few centimeters away from Wonho but both of them walked at the same place. Hyungwon even in a drunken river that he was drowning in, was right in his opinion. He felt like Wonho had no reason to be a dick to him as he had no intent to see him. Maybe he had recognized him or maybe it was just a coincidence that Hyungwon was hoping for. "I am sober by the way, just sleepy."

"If your sober then I'm a fucking dumbass that can't get his shit together....oh wait, that's you." Wonho let out a soft chuckle while Hyungwon just looked at him, awkwardly. "I'm a musician, if I can memorize three songs in under ten minutes then I can recognize your voice after one interaction sadly." Besides the first statement, the sentence made him flutter inside. It's something about being remembered in a way that made his fingertips inch with excitement. He pushed the hoodie off his head, lifting the hotdog to his lips, and took a bite out of it. It was nice, with the steam that came off the hotdog being a motivation for Hyungwons mind to become sober. 

"My names..." Hyungwon said quietly, realizing that Wonho had probably not even known his name while he was already fascinated with him but was quickly stopped as nervousness began to climb up his throat. Wonho didn't seem to care at all, his glare never breaking to look at Hyungwon. He wondered what was going through Wonho's head, was his imagination and thoughts were as pretty as his face, or where his mind was stuck in a tornado of mystery just like Hyungwons was.

"Did I fucking ask?" Hyungwon expected that sort of response but it didn't make it hurt any less. Now he was starting to regret meeting Wonho as a whole and now starting to see that his personality was now weighing heavier than his looks. By the way, he talked and carried himself, his thunderstorm of an attitude completely over his cloud of attractiveness but Hyungwon couldn't let it go. "I rather not know your name if I did then it will cause me to remember you more and I would fucking hate myself for it."

"Why would that be a reason to hate yourself?" It was a pretty ironic question as Hyungwon didn't like remembering people either. It was like another star being added to his universe that his sun would eventually avoid, leaving it in an atmosphere of darkness as it eventually dies of neglect.

"Because, when you do, it's just another person who is going to let you down at the end. I have a career to focus on, I rather keep my guitars closer rather than actual people."

"Then who were the people you were with? Do you know? last night?" Hyungwon cocked his eye brown, watching as Wonho had finally looked over to him. He watched as his eyes sparkled even if they looked dead inside as if his pupils were trying to grasp the sun and kiss it against his chocolate brown lips. His face looks as red as Hyungwon, he didn't know if his face was that way in annoyance or if he was as cold as Hyungwon was. "I see they are close to you or maybe I'm just assuming as I haven't had people close to me like that."

"Best friends, the only two people that haven't betrayed me. We all are chasing our dreams together so our connection was always strong even if people see me as an asshole." Wonhos tones changed to one that sounded like he was disappointed, clouds of soft poignancy that he didn't want to show. He sounded like he didn't want to sound sentimental or show any type of emotion towards Hyungwon. His facial features were cold but his tone told it all. "Even if you don't seem like the type to have friends as I can tell you are just a boy struggling in a big world. Don't keep too many friends or don't remember too many people. You know Minhyuk talked to me once about you. That's should be your only friend but as he talks more about you, I can tell you're just an asshole."

"Minhyuk talks about me?"

"That seems like the only person who puts up with you or even cares by the way I see it." By the time Hyungwon looked back at Wonho, the male was finished with his hotdog and stuffed his napkin in his pocket while Hyungwon wasn't halfway done. He felt his appetite disappear once he heard the name Minhyuk. He just didn't expect it, not in a way that was negative but in a way in genuinely surprised him. Hyungwon didn't even like talking about himself without vomiting unless it was about his visual. It felt nice, it made his heart warm, so much that all the despair he had built up this morning, started to fade away. "But I didn't even mean to start a conversation with you or didn't even want to see you in general. It looks like I have to go, bye.....Princess"

Before Hyungwon could respond to anything, Wonho was already saying goodbye. Even if he cringed while being called princess, he still wanted to talk to Wonho. As Hyungwon said, he was a river of mystery that he just wanted to dive into and search it looking for rocks that revealed more about him. Hyungwon wanted to say something but his words were always jumbled up while being around wonho even if it had been a day. "Wonho?" He said it loud enough for the other to hear causing Wonho to stop in his tracks and turn to face him again. He didn't answer, just cocking his eyebrow and perking his lips up. Hyungwon stood there, frozen for a minute before finally letting the words slip off his tongue. "When is your next performance?"

"Stay sober for a day and maybe i'll tell you" Wonho said with a small smirk before finally turning around, continuing walking with the crowd of people. He left Hyungwon just standing there, buried in his hoodie as he replayed the whole interaction in his head. It was another one he regretted, wanting to stab himself for not walking away when he had the chance. 

He didn't know if the others statement was a challenge or just something that made Hyungwon think he wasn't ever going to perform again. As his life was a blooming flower stuck in a harsh snow storm, alcohol seemed to be the only thing that kept his roots in place. He wanted to hold onto his hoodie and use it as a shield to protect his heart as the name Wonho was stuck to it with no possible answer as of why. He wasn't in love with this stranger but the obsession of breaking those large cracks in his wall and bursting through it to find a room full of softer things that made his demeanor look like a forced facade. Until then he was just stuck with a man who was lost in a forest of passion but instead of camping in the beautiful environment, he was setting it on fire. 

He wondered why the world always brought things to challenge him as he continued to roam around the city, hotdog glued to his hand and feet dragging against the concrete as his appetite perished. He just wanted to lay back in his bed and drink until his livers were drunk themselves, lungs failing so much that his heart has to try to keep them standing. It was something about this him that left Hyungwon devastated and he knew it wouldn't be the last of his curiosity being broken while trying to discover the guy who went by the name Wonho.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s short, i’m not really good at this so I apologize.


End file.
